First elder meeting preparation is something most churches completely neglect. New elders walk in unprepared for the realities ahead. About twenty-three years ago, I said ‘yes’ to serving as an elder with excitement and biblical conviction. I felt honored to help grow our local church. At the time, I truly believed I was entering a safe place to serve Christ’s Church at the local level.
Looking back, if I knew then what lay ahead of me, I may have run away. However, God prepared me and led me through the journey and the fires as only He could. If I could go back and whisper advice to that younger man about first elder meeting preparation, here’s what I’d tell him.
The Meeting Will Be Nothing Like You Expect
You walk into that first elder meeting expecting deep theological discussions about shepherding the flock. Instead, you spend forty-five minutes debating the church budget and whether to replace the parking lot lights. You anticipate opening with extended prayer and Bible study. Instead, you get a quick prayer and dive straight into reports and procedural issues.
Here’s what I wish someone had told me: Biblical elders focus primarily on shepherding and spiritual oversight, not business management. Local churches do need budgets and functioning facilities. However, many elder boards get trapped in operational management. Instead, they should focus on their biblical mandate to feed, lead, protect, and care for the flock (Acts 20:28, 1 Peter 5:1-4). Remember, you’re not just managing a local organization. You’re stewarding Christ’s Church in your community.
Churches create this role confusion by placing unqualified men in elder positions. Others design their local church structures without biblical principles in mind. Understanding this reality upfront helps set proper expectations. It also gives you a framework for gradually steering your board toward its intended purpose.
Every Elder Board Has Unwritten Rules
Within your first few meetings, you’ll discover something important. Every elder board operates with an informal hierarchy alongside the official structure. Some elders carry more influence than others. The chairman doesn’t always hold the most power. Often, an “inner circle” of elders discusses important matters before meetings. Meanwhile, an “outer circle” learns about decisions after leaders make them.
Watch carefully during discussions. Notice who speaks first, who gets deferred to, and who gets interrupted. Observe which elder’s opinion carries the most weight, even without an official leadership position. Understanding these dynamics doesn’t mean accepting them as biblical or healthy. However, you need to see them clearly to navigate them wisely.
You’ll Face the Politics You Didn’t Expect
During my experience serving on elder boards, I observed a concerning pattern. Meetings focused more on managing church operations than on spiritual leadership and shepherding. Something felt wrong about this approach. I took initiative to study biblical eldership more deeply and prepare a study for our board.
Through this experience, I learned an important lesson. Even well-intentioned initiatives can face derailment by circumstances beyond your control. Church politics and crisis management often take precedence over spiritual development. This happens even when spiritual issues may be at the root of operational problems.
“Biblical” Doesn’t Always Mean “Supported”
During pastoral searches I’ve been involved in, I’ve learned that candidates and elder boards can have very different understandings of terms like “biblical eldership,” even when both parties use the same language.
I’ve observed that being biblically correct doesn’t guarantee you’ll be politically successful within an elder board. You can have Scripture on your side and still find yourself marginalized or overruled. This is perhaps the hardest lesson for lay elders who come to service with sincere biblical convictions: being right doesn’t automatically mean you’ll be heard or supported.
Essential First Elder Meeting Preparation Steps
Looking back, I realize how unprepared I was for elder service, despite my good intentions. Most churches have an inadequate process for selecting and preparing elders. Some churches do provide reading lists – I was given several books including “The Unity Factor” by Larry Osborne and asked to discuss them with leadership. However, there was little follow-up and no formal discussions actually took place. This lack of accountability in the preparation process often foreshadows accountability problems within the elder board itself.
Biblical First Elder Meeting Preparation Guidelines
Here’s what should happen but probably won’t:
Proper Vetting: More than just “Are you available and willing?” Churches should assess biblical qualifications, spiritual maturity, and readiness for the challenges ahead.
Orientation: New elders should understand the church’s governance structure, history, current challenges, and decision-making processes before their first meeting.
Mentoring: Every new elder should be paired with an experienced elder who can provide guidance, answer questions, and help navigate the inevitable challenges.
Training: Churches should provide basic training on biblical eldership principles, practical responsibilities, and time commitments.
Clear Expectations: New elders should understand their authority, accountability, and how decisions are made within the elder board.
Since most churches won’t provide this preparation, you’ll need to seek it out yourself.
How to Prepare When No One Else Will
Study Biblical Eldership: Don’t assume you understand eldership because you’ve been a faithful church member. Study the relevant passages (1 Timothy 3, Titus 1, Acts 20, 1 Peter 5) and read solid resources like Strauch’s “Biblical Eldership.”
Learn Your Church’s Story: Understand the church’s history, including past conflicts and how they were resolved. Every church has unspoken tensions that new elders walk into unknowingly.
Build Relationships: Start building relationships with your fellow elders outside of meetings. You’ll need these relationships when challenging situations arise.
Pray for Wisdom: Pray specifically for discernment to see situations clearly, wisdom to know when to speak and when to remain silent, and grace to maintain your convictions while working with imperfect people.
Prepare for Disappointment: Not every elder will share your biblical convictions about leadership. Some may be serving for the wrong reasons. This doesn’t mean compromise your standards, but it means you need realistic expectations.
Your First 90 Days Strategy
Month 1: Listen and Learn Resist the urge to share all your ideas immediately. Spend your first month observing dynamics, understanding the church’s rhythm, and building relationships. Ask questions rather than offering solutions.
Month 2: Begin Contributing Thoughtfully Start offering insights and asking deeper questions. Share your perspective, but do so with humility and in the context of serving the church’s mission.
Month 3: Engage More Fully Begin contributing to solutions while maintaining the servant’s heart that should characterize biblical eldership. By now, you should understand the landscape well enough to engage more fully.
Always: Keep Your Focus Right Remember that your goal isn’t to win arguments or get your way. Your calling is to shepherd God’s people faithfully and represent Christ’s Church well in your community, whether or not your fellow elders fully embrace biblical eldership principles.
What Success Actually Looks Like
After years of service—including experiencing the painful reality that pursuing biblical accountability can sometimes cost you your position—I’ve learned that success in eldership looks different than I initially thought.
Success isn’t getting your way; it’s serving faithfully regardless of outcomes. Success isn’t avoiding conflict; it’s handling conflict biblically. Success isn’t being popular with your fellow elders; it’s being faithful to God’s calling even when it costs you.
Success isn’t having perfect meetings or unanimous decisions. Success is growing in Christlikeness through the process and helping others do the same, even when the church’s systems and structures are imperfect.
The Hard Truth About Faithful Service
If I’m honest, following these principles doesn’t guarantee smooth sailing. I’ve experienced firsthand that pursuing biblical accountability can sometimes result in personal cost and opposition. But God has used even painful experiences to deepen my understanding of what faithful eldership requires.
You may face opposition. You may be misunderstood. You may find yourself standing alone for biblical principles while other elders choose pragmatism over truth. But remember that your ultimate accountability is to Christ for how faithfully you stewarded His Church at the local level, not to popular opinion or even to your fellow elders.
The Church—Christ’s universal body—needs lay elders who will serve with both wisdom and conviction in local congregations. We need men who understand the political realities of local church leadership but refuse to compromise their biblical convictions because of them.
Moving Forward
If you’re preparing for elder service or struggling in your current role, remember that God has called you to this responsibility. He will provide the grace and wisdom you need, even when the path is more difficult than you anticipated.
The church desperately needs biblically qualified elders who will serve with humility, lead with conviction, and shepherd with love—regardless of whether they receive the support and encouragement they deserve.
Are you prepared for the realities of elder service? Take our Elder Self-Assessment to honestly evaluate your readiness for this crucial calling. [Download your free assessment here]
What would you add to this list? What do you wish someone had told you before your first elder meeting? Share your thoughts in the comments below.